Indian Ocean, Tofo, Mozambique
Conversations with God
I hitchhiked, got in cars with strangers to see you. I trekked across the world to see one of my closest friends in Mozambique. It was the farthest I’d ever travelled and my first time in Africa. Two Black women backpacking alone, doing whatever we desired in the world: trusting totally in our safety; awareness of healing something ancestral; awareness of loneliness, fear, sadness, and also possibility; what if satisfaction is possible?; it’s humbling how little I know, how small and insignificant I am compared to your vast unknown; I have never had much of anything some parts of me shout; not true!; the truth is I am immeasurably blessed and must live life from that knowing; how easy it is to forget; what if feeling infinitely loved and deserving of goodness are possible?; What if I belong?; When will I find love? When will I realize I am love?
We signed up for a whale shark tour that included snorkeling next to one of the giant creatures. Never had I been more afraid than I felt on that boat as we neared deeper and deeper waters. I prayed: please God keep us safe. We never did find a shark that day. But still, being in your cold deep water terrified me. Always like outer space: Looking into the beautiful unknown and remembering I’m not alone. Remembering love.
Melissa Valentine • she/her • Oakland, CA
Melissa Valentine is an award-winning writer from Oakland, CA whose work explores themes of race, trauma, and healing. Her debut memoir, The Names of All the Flowers, was the winner of the Louise Meriwether First Book Prize. She has been an artist fellow of the New York Foundation for the Arts in Nonfiction Literature. The Names of All the Flowers was selected as the 2021 winner of CLMP’s Firecracker Award in Nonfiction and is the winner of the 2022 GLCA New Writer Award. Melissa’s writing has appeared in New York Magazine, Guernica, Jezebel, and Apogee among others. Melissa works as a writing collaborator and editor. She lives in Berkeley, CA with her husband and two children.
