Ibiza, three months in
It was late summer in Ibiza, and I was around three months pregnant. My husband and I were on the beach together, taking turns going into the ocean while the other stayed back to watch our things. I wasn’t really showing yet, just barely. But I was already feeling the early hum of nausea that seemed to follow me around those days like a second shadow.
When it was my turn, I walked into the sea slowly, deeper and deeper, until the water started pressing against my belly. The sensation was so strange, like the ocean knew. The coolness, the pull, the shifting floor under my feet. It all felt magnified. I remember thinking how surreal it was to be there, floating in this vast, open body of water, while something was quietly growing inside me. It was one of the first moments I really started to grasp what was about to change in my life.
I stayed there for a while, suspended, letting the salt water hold me. It felt like I could stay like that forever. Weightless, anonymous, safe.
And then, without warning, a huge wave came. The ocean had been calm until that point, gentle ripples at most..so I wasn’t bracing for anything. But this wave lifted me so high I lost control. I was slammed down hard, face-first, into the sea floor. For a split second, I panicked. I was terrified. Not just for myself, but for the small, invisible life I was carrying. That crash jolted me out of the moment, out of the floating, and all the fear rushed in.
I got up, shaken and wide-eyed, and left the water. I didn’t go back in after that. I wanted to, I really did, but the fear had settled in me in a way I couldn’t shake. That whole experience etched itself into my memory. Not just because of the fear, but because something about that moment- the ocean touching my belly, the stillness before the wave, felt like it marked the beginning of everything that was coming.
Sanié Bokhari • She/Her • Lahore, pakistan/ Brooklyn, NY
Sanié Bokhari (b. 1991, Lahore, Pakistan) is a painter and sculptor based in Brooklyn, NY. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Painting from the National College of Arts, Lahore, and an MFA in Painting from the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD).
Her work examines the complex roles of women in colonial-era South Asia and their portrayal in miniature painting, reimagining these themes in a contemporary context. She explores the intersection of tradition and modernity, reflecting on the tension between analog processes and the influence of AI. Her figures sometimes float on traditional rugs to symbolize their roots, embodying transformation and hybridity.
Bokhari’s work has been exhibited at the Mohatta Palace Museum (Pakistan), Swivel Gallery (NY), Harper’s (Los Angeles), and Bonhams (London). It is part of public and private collections, including Northwestern University’s permanent collection and the Nion McEvoy Foundation.
